I don't know how many of you guys that I told but my grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in February after refusing medical attention for 5 months and even longer. She was immediately hospitalized after the tumor began to hemorrhage on the outside of her body. This tumor was gigantic. An amazing doctor took her into care and she began chemo treatments almost immediately. The chemo did wonders and was beginning to shrink the tumor very effectively. The doctor was hopeful and it kept my mom hopeful too. The past week, however, grandma took a turn for the absolute worst because her white blood cell count was low and her blood pressure dropped tremendously. They sent her to the ER after she had been in a nursing facility for nearly a month and was soon admitted into the ICU. Unfortunately, because the tumor was disintegrating rapidly, it began to rot and an infection called Sepsis got through her bloodstream.
We were told that she had a day and here we are on day 3 and she is letting go after being in agonizing pain for 5 days because of the infection. She is dying. Today. I'm angry at her for not going because her form of cancer is 100% treatable. I'm trying to grasp that I just saw her on Saturday and told her I was going to finish sewing a cosplay and show her. She loved that I took on sewing and now I will never get to show her. This is harder than I thought it would be even though I was prepared.
If you think that something is wrong and you begin to have sudden day-to-day pain or notice any differences in your body, go to the doctor. I cannot stress how absolutely frustrating and devastating this is. Watching someone make up their mind about wanting to die and being absolutely helpless as you watch them fall apart. Go to the doctor. Convince them or yourself to get help not only for them/you but for the people who love them/you. Because before you know it, it will be worse than you thought and you may be on your deathbed.
I know that I've been tagged a lot recently and I'm going to do them but not for a day or two while I grieve. I might sketch some things to take my mind off of it but otherwise, that's why I've been quiet. I'm sorry for writing a novel but I wanted to let you guys know that this is just a really hard time. 2016 has been super shitty so far and it is only April.